Season of the Silly

It appears that we are quite well entrenched in the Season of the Silly! What else will you say if what you see and hear all around is manifestation of the trivial when actually there are other pressing issues?  So here we are when the ship called Indian economy is at its wobbly best and sailing without a direction or rather in the wrong direction, we have its crew speculating and rumour mongering about who will be next occupant of the Rashtrapati Bhavan!  Oh India, the race for the Raisina Hill has begun!

So I thought I will add my 2 cents to this silly debate and throw my Hat choice into the ring. And my choice to be the next President of India would be none other than the King Khan – Shah Rukh Khan and why not?

1. After all, he has the most important credential required to be even considered for the post of President in India – i.e. belonging to the minority community.  In India, of late it has become a minimum criterion that the incumbent must add to some kind of tokenism. So he/she has to be either a Muslim or the 1^st woman president or 1^st Dalit president, 1^st Sikh president…,…
2. India in the past has had teachers as presidents, lawyers as presidents, politicians as presidents, missile scientist as president but never a person from fine arts! So SRK can become the 1^st Actor president and people would love it!
3. There are some ‘pawar’ful voices in the political spectrum which say that the next president should be “apolitical”. I’m sure SRK fits this definition aptly.
4. After A.P.J Abdul Kalam, the public at large wants to see a person who can be inspiring and can be a role model for the youth of today. For a country with an average age of 26 years and 65% below the age of 35, I’m certain its youth would like to see a person from among themselves to inspire. Who else than SRK who though in his mid-40’s is still actually playing roles of a 30 something quite regularly!
5. He is also known to make inspiring speeches. Just the other day I happen to watch his inspiring speech as a coach to the wards in ‘Chak de” à la Al Pacino in “Any Given Sunday”! Not to mention of his recent speech in the Yale University!
6. The kind of positive imagery Bollywood has created about India abroad no other campaign however “Incredible” though, has managed. So why not give Bollywood its due by pushing one of its stars to the top post?
7. The President of India is the Supreme commander of the Armed forces. So why not have a person who will be liked by the men who defend the country simply because of the way he salutes the people he meets?
8. He will also be adored by the jawans since they can be sure that SRK will not engage in any land grabbing of land meant for them post his retirement as President! He already owns a landmark in ‘Mannat’!
9. Mumbaikars will be happy if SRK becomes the president. “Mannat” will be made a National monument and the now narrow approach towards Band stand and the sea face will get a face lift!
10. Elders and people of the previous generation often lament that In Delhi only the Netas, Babus and their families attend the Republic day function and today’s youngsters don’t even watch the Republic parade on TV. If SRK becomes the president I’m sure Delhi Administration will find it difficult to manage the crowds and TRPs on Doordarshan on R-Day will hit the roof!
11. Just the other day one of the most powerful youth icons of India – Sachin Tendulkar was honoured by the ruling party by nominating him to the Rajya Sabha. So why not now honour another youth icon SRK by nominating him as their candidate for Presidency?
12. I can’t imagine how the women in the country will react to SRK becoming the President. President Shah Rukh, cho chweet yaar,…blah, blah,
13. One thing is sure. If SRK’s name is put forward by the Congress they can be sure of support from
    1. Mulayam Singh Yadav’s Samajwadi party – SRK is a Muslim and automatically they cannot oppose!
    2. Mamata Banerjee – SRK is the brand ambassador for West Bengal oops ‘Poschim Bonga’ and after all he also owns the Kolkatta team in the IPL. So SRK is very much a Bong than anything else!
    3. BJP –Though he is a Muslim, he is basically a Hindu “Rahul” in movies and propagates Hindu family values whether its KKHH, K3G or DDLJ!  Also SRK acted in “Nationalistic” movies like Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, Swades and Chak de!
    4. Sharad Pawar’s NCP – will support as long as SRK is apolitical which he is!
    5. DMK’s Karunanidhi – Being from filmy background has always held the view that film stars mirror the society.   In India film stars have not crossed beyond the “Chief Minister” frontier. So he would like to see that broken in his lifetime and a film star becoming a Raja oops President!
    6. ADMK’s Jayalalitha – If Congress announces SRK as its candidate, “Amma” will quickly endorse the same –fearing otherwise Karunanidhi may push one of his family members for the post in exchange for continuing support to UPA!
    7. Communists – SRK had of late taken a lot of potshots at the Americans after being detained repeatedly by the US Immigration.   This one reason is enough for the communists to pledge their support to SRK!

So with support to SRK’s candidature almost being assured by the majority, Congress can redeem its stature as the ruling party and avoid another embarrassment.

For SRK himself, accepting the nomination of the president and becoming one will be another feather in his overcrowded cap.

• Next time he visits the US, he will have a separate diplomatic channel and need not have to waste his precious time at the airport on arrival repeating “My name is Khan and I’m not a terrorist” to the US Immigration authorities!
• All his past movies will get another round of release All India after he becomes the President and I’m sure most states will extend Tax exemption for the tickets!  So some of the movies which had tanked in the past can get a second run for the distributors!
• After being at the top for so many years, of late his career is facing end-life crisis with movies like Ra one ending as a wrong one.  Becoming a president could be an honourable exit for his career.

So I urge the think tank of Congress to approbate Shah Rukh as their presidential candidate Dil Se and history will judge this as the single largest contribution of this party to the country!   I hope Congress will take cognisance of this “Silly point”!

P.S: One person who will be upset if SRK becomes the President will be Farhan Akhtar. He cannot make Don-3 because Congress has caught the Don and made him the President!!